X Close Menu

I Never Saw It Coming

3

...Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future. Ecc. 7:14 NIV

One night while driving to church I asked my then 16-year-old daughter, “What is your favorite thing about living, right now?” “That’s a great question!” she replied. She pondered a moment and then began to reveal what made her life tick.

“This is an incredible time for me... and I never saw it coming.” she said. “This year is less about proving myself and more about being myself. It’s a beautiful spot. I laugh every day.”

My heart smiled as I clung to those thoughts. She had so much more to share, but these words stuck to my mind like flypaper. For a junior in high school to sort out what’s real from what’s fake, what’s true from what’s false, what’s important from what is worthless, is exciting stuff for a mom.

She made very deliberate decisions when she entered high school two years earlier. The most important one was asking God to lead her through decisions about dating, classes, choosing friends and choosing work. Her rationale: why allow your life to be jerked around by emotions that you are neither prepared for nor ready to handle. Turn it over to God and anxiously anticipate the outcome.

And in her junior year those tough choices began to pay off. Her peers respected her for who she was and what she stood for. She saw life as a beautiful spot, one to be enjoyed and savored. And the remarkable part is she never saw it coming.

God expects us to wait in eager anticipation of the future plans He has laid out for us. When we become adults we crowd God out of the plan. We take jobs, we choose mates and we raise children without checking first with the Plan-Maker… God. He has given us a brain, so surely we can figure this out on our own, right? Why? Why risk the emotional upheaval wrong decisions can make when we have a heavenly Father with a perfect plan?

Pray today that every decision is made through the filter of His perfect plan. Then one day you can say, “Wow! I never saw it coming!”

3 Comments

Lord, Thank You that we can not see what is upcoming and MUST choose to rely on Your grace, mercy and strength.  I thank You for the realness of Kaiti sharing her daily difficulty with us and how it's true that we tend to live our lives based on what WE had in mind.  Lord I ask that this day You show us how to live like Jesus in the capacity we have this day.  I so often want more than I have, yet You let me know that I have more than enough when I have You.  And that You have ways to share Your love and reach out to others that I have not opened my mind and heart to receive.  May we live like we are living.  I love BEING Yours today Lord and have the opportunity to pray Lord have mercy!!!  Be encouraged Kaiti and others feeling this same way... He has got this.  B blessed.

Heavenly Father, we come before Your throne of grace on behalf of our sister Kaiti. She is hurting Lord and she has so many regrets about her past… things she has done and things she hasn’t done. As Your children, we know we can come to You with our hearts open to Your healing power and You will redeem us. We know that we never “let You down” or “disappoint You” because You know what we are going to do before we are ever born. You sent Your Son to die for our sins and our debts are paid when we accept Jesus as our Savior. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Rom 8:1) and by His wounds we are healed (Is 53).

We humbly pray that Kaiti be anxious about nothing, but let her requests be made known to You in prayer and supplication with thanksgiving. Allow Kaiti to experience Your peace, guarding her heart and mind as she lives her life in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:6-7). Your blood was spilled out for her and You love her more than anyone here on this earth can. Give her the sisters and brothers in Christ that she needs to encourage her in her faith.

Paul writes, “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” Romans 5:1-5 (ESV).

Keep Kaiti coming back to Encouragement Café and keep her in Your Word, knowing that You are all that she needs. May she grow closer to You and feel Your love strengthening her. We ask these all these things in Jesus’ Name, Amen.

Wow that's pretty cool. Looking back on my junior year of high school, I have to hang my head and heart down with much disappointment. Why? Because at the age of 16, I was still battling with my health. At the age of 14, for no apparent reason at all, I fell ill to acute juvenile nephritis. AJN is a disease that gets its start through contact with the bacteria known for causing strep throat. Strep was very common in teens back in the late sixties and seventies. Little was I aware that I had a very deficient set of kidneys and when the strep throat got a firm grip, it became septic and within a short time this unsaved teenage girl was in the ICU of a local pediatrics hospital. I would be almost 18 and finally healthy enough to enlist in the women's Army Corps at 18. Now back to my sixteenth year. Aside from still being sick I was very lonely for a group of friends to hang with. I had my twin brother, and we were very close, but I longed for acceptance and popularity. I was not a Farrah Fawcett Majors nor a Jacqueline Smith. I was cute, but not a fabulous drop dead gorgeous head-turner. So I missed my high school years homecoming pageant and my junior and senior high proms.

The only fun highlight of high school was being in the school's marching band and marching in the infamous Tournament of Roses parade of 1975. It would however be one of my earliest connection times with another girl who was very active with Campus Crusade for Christ. I have long forgotten the girl's name, but not her face. She had the look of an angel. She had a medium dark complexion, the most beautiful big, brown eyes that seemed to almost bleed love, joy and peace all at once. She was in the flute section in band where my brother and I both played French horns. I love music and I developed a very strong love for instrumental music of classical, light or soft rock, and what today would be called light jazz. However there is very little music genres that I turn my nose up to. Rap, hip-hop, sultry adult alternative and heavy metal would very likely find themselves being quickly turned down for a good Christian praise and worship CD or one of my old time faves of the 70's and 80's, the second chapter of Acts, or Phil Keaggy.

After four years of being an Army nurse and still seeking, searching, chasing the inescapable brilliant light of Jesus Christ, I finally (while stoned out of my little head from pot) met the man who would introduce me to the Man at the well who told me all that I had ever done in life. Yeah that's right I was just another one of those Samaritan women trying to draw that Living Water from the well of eternal hope.

Now here I am in my fifties (55 to be exact) and once again my head and heart are hanging with questions as to why I'm once again fighting for my physical life??? I'm fighting what my doctors believe to be a chronic form of myelogenous leukemia and to add insult to injury, degenerative bone disorder in my lower legs (primarily the right). It's not so much of the being sick that bugs me. It's that I was actively involved in homeless ministry trying to give the same light of hope and the clean, pure taste of the Living Water to runaway teenagers and forgotten Vietnam Veterans. I was making such great progress, but then one day out of nowhere I collapsed with a fever of 103.9 and within a few short months, I was forced to pack up my apartment and get me and my service dog on the airliner from Portland, Oregon. Since arriving in the greater metropolitan DFW nine years ago this June 19th, I have been on Heaven's front door steps 3 separate times. Now can any of you good godly sisters tell me why I am still here? What purpose am I supposed to be (Jer.29:11-13) living for? I know the healing promises of God's Word. Yeah and I BELIEVE.

But now with tears in my eyes I'm asking those in the café, what do I do with this broken, sick and dying body??? I don't get it! I've tried to my best to live sinless as I humanly can, knowing that salvation is not of my own acts of goodness. But I have had the worst time understanding WHY some people get healed completely whole and other people go to an early grave believing the very promises of God.

My dream of ministry to hopeless and homeless kids is long over. I miss the daily interaction I had and I feel as though I've let God down, not to mention those kids. I'm homesick for what will never be. What makes some days even harder is that none of my sibling relationships are as close as they once were when we were all still in our teens and early twenties. With the exception of my twin brother who died in a car wreck in the mountains south of Sante Fe, NM.

My doctors recently told me that my body's immune system is on a steady downward coast. I'm not responding to the treatments anymore. I can't help but wonder how I'm going to give an account for my life especially in the area of personal evangelism. I feel like I've let God down. I hope I don't sound too much like a big cry baby but when one is the only born again Christian within a 750 mile radius and often too sick to get involved in my church, life gets really lonely very fast. I sort of feel like the wife all dolled up and ready for a romantic evening out on the town (speaking of the rapture) and my beloved husband (Jesus) as usual is running late AAAGGGAAAIIINNN!!

Well girls, I could really use and covet your prayers. Thanks for listening. Kaiti

Leave a Comment

Comments for this post have been disabled.