O Lord, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. Psalm 139:1
I think if we were to be honest, most of us have had those times when you wonder if you are the right person for the job, whether that is mother, wife, worker or friend. I can remember a period of my life when my children were young and I felt like I was failing as mother and wife.
During this time I would wonder what their lives would look like if I died. I had the women that would replace me all worked out, she would be a great wife and mother for my children - in some strange way I found comfort from my thoughts! I would entertain and feed those thoughts and feelings; I would find myself fantasizing that the lives of my family would be better without me.
We can at times be self–indulgent in our thinking. We can often see self-indulgence as going out and buying an expensive item of clothing or taking a five star dream holiday. Perhaps you are self-indulgent in what you eat... I love a bigger than big slice of chocolate cake with thick dark frosting all over it with smarties on top (to complete the picture).
In the same, I think that we can be self-indulgent in the way that we do life, focusing on ourselves and our needs instead of focusing on those around us.
We can often measure ourselves up against the world’s expectation (whatever that looks like for you) but I think that we need to stop and inquire of the Lord – and ask “what are His desires for my life?” I had to come to the place of realizing that my self-indulgent thoughts were in fact ungodly.
My identity was centered on who I thought I should be instead of who God made me to be. We need to stop and inquire of the Lord and search Him for our purpose here on earth and seek His approval then we will be truly fulfilled and content with who He has made us to be.
Remember to inquire of the Lord and when you think that life is not worth living or that you are not important remember that He breathed life into you and you are significant, He approves of you!
Lord it is my prayer that we find our significance in You and not in this world, that we will see that You have breathed life into us “for such a time as this.” May we find our worth in You Jesus!